Cody Inc.

I’ve always been interested in childhood depression. Partly because I’m a kid who has fun researching things on wikipedia, and partly because I enjoy learning about these weird topics, but mostly because I think I was actually depressed as a child. My family probably won’t think so, but they don’t know me. Seriously. My family doesn’t know the real me and truly, they don’t care. If they had cared, they wouldn’t have picked on me as a kid, but I always seemed to be their target. Ho hum. Such is the life of me.

You see, it was mostly the people I hung out with *cough* Davy *cough* in the sixth grade. They always seemed to bring me down, and yet I still hung around with them. I wasn’t the skinniest kid in elementary school (I am still overweight) and I became a social outcast. As in my words in a “vent note” to myself (I found it in an old notebook from sixth grade.)

I hate myself. I really do. If it wasn’t for me, I wouldn’t be so weird. I am an outcast and I hate it. School sucks. People pick on me all the time. But school is nothing compared to the hell I call home. I REALLY hate my older brothers and sisters. It hurts knowing that my own family can’t even accept me for who I am.

I look back in awe at how much hate was put into that “vent note”. I’m being revived of my former depression now that I’m back in high school. Although I have good friends and not a lot of people pick on me, no one seems to like me. I am annoying. I tried so hard to change from what I used to be (although my brothers and sisters don’t care whether or not I try not to talk, they still see my own person as annoying) but I guess I haven’t changed. It seems that my “friends” from theatre camp that go to my school don’t want me to hang out with them. So I guess I won’t. I’ll leave everyone alone and we’ll all get what we want (except me, of course). I’ll go back into my “no friends, social outcast” theme, where everyone asks if I’m Gothic. And then everyone will believe that I’m gay again, because no girl seems to want to go out with me. I guess that you can’t be a smart, non-good looking guy and have a girlfriend. It doesn’t help that I’m accepting the fact that I can’t sing anymore (although Brandie believes I can’t sing at all. So much for family) considering that I can’t even hit the right pitches anymore.

So thats it then, I’ll grow old being a premature birth specialist, (thanks to my awesome niece who inspired me) and I’ll be lonely since even if I do graduate from Harvard Medical School, my family won’t care enough to even come or congratulate me.

Again, no trivia. I’m not in the mood.

Cody